Oh no! I forgot the tradition!

What a wonderful Thanksgiving day and night we had. I hosted it at my house with just my parents in attendance. Each dish was especially good and the day was spent with watching old movies, new movies, walking in the dark looking at lights and just relaxing. We sat down to dinner and were just getting ready to eat when Herman looks at me and whispers "don't we have any bread?" I at first was about to smack him for being so selfish when there were so many other wonderful dishes. "He wants bread too? The nerve of him to ask" Then I realized I had been planning a wonderful new tradition this year. We were to write what we were thankful for and bake them into crescent rolls. Then at dinner we would break them open, read them and guess who wrote them. I bragged about this to everyone and the kids were so excited. I even planned my thankfulness thought out. Then it came to me, the papers that were never written on, had NOT been baked in the two packages of crescent rolls that were still sitting in the fridge. I can't believe I forgot to do this! Becket then says, "What does Thanksgiving mean anyway?" I, weary from cooking and thinking, said, "I really don't want to go into it right now" Herman then says, "Well, that's a homeschooling question ." Which was followed with, "And you are the homeschooling mom"-from Tansy. Needless to say, not only did I forget to make everyone else be thankful, I forgot to be thankful myself and apparently forgot to teach my child what the meaning of Thanksgiving is. I had him watch the Snoopy Thanksgiving special instead. Hopefully he gleaned something from that, if nothing else he learned that your pet dog will serve you only popcorn and toast and save the turkey for him and the bird to eat when you are gone. (Big sigh) Was that wrong? (rhetorical question obviously)
"Thanks" for listening.

You know you watch too much "CSI" when....

Last night as I was snuggling into my bed for the evening I turned on CSI to watch. There was a Thanksgiving theme on it and it was actually disgusting me as I watched. I started to drift off to sleep and turned the TV off. I had a restless night waking at 4:30 when my hubby wakes, and tossing and turning till 6:30-when I finally got up. I was brushing my teeth and looking at the toothbrushes in the holder. A thought came to my mind, "I wonder what a CSI would think about us seeing these toothbrushes" then I started a mock dialogue from the blond to one of the guys. "Hmm, looks like there were several children in the family. From the looks of these toothbrushes, there doesn't seem to be an adult living here. Oh, this one is a boys, look at all the built up toothpaste. This one is deffinently a first born girl, notice how clean it is and how it is kept separate from the others so it doesn't get dirty from them....." Now here is the real senario. There are 9 toothbrushes in this bathroom. My husbands is in our other bathroom. SpongeBob belongs to the baby, Violet-incredible blue belongs to Becket (7) as does blue striped weird handle (both came from a Halloween carnival), blue dot and new Power Ranger are also his (one from previous dentist appt. and recent dental appt.) Orange striped alone on the counter belongs to Tansy (9) as well as purple "violet-incredible" and old green colorful one. Mine is from my most recent dentist appt. They happened to run out of adult brushes, just my luck. Seems there weren't any girls left either. So in addition to these many brushes is mine-a blue Mr. Incredible child's toothbrush. Yah, CSI would have a ball with this.

"Can you pass me a napkin please?"

"Depression is a tough thing to deal with; I have dealt with my fair share as I am sure almost everyone has who has existed on this earth. The important thing to remember is that God allows all things to help us work out our salvation. He is not the author of evil, but allows us to endure trials to help us struggle a little. This has different results for each person since everyone deals with different passions. But the God who made you and fashioned you in your mother's womb knew you would come to this point. God is with us! You struggle through the tough times, Gods grace comes to comfort and fortify you and then another struggle comes. That is that way and how it has been for over 2,000 years. That is why the Orthodox Church is called the hospital for the soul.-Matthew"

This was a comment on another blog of mine. I don't know if he knew I had been struggling or not. He actually commented after a "discussion on death" posting. (not a morbid discussion)
But I have been struggling, hard. I've been fighting some potent anxiety with a cup of depression poured in. There are noantecedentss though, nothing physical to set me off. But something is amiss in me. I'm not onantidepressantss so I fight my battles with natural and spiritual weapons. I find that I grab onto God tighter during these moments. I have to confess I don't feel Him though, but nontheless I still hold tight to Him. I rest my head on His icon as if I'm resting on His shoulder. I gaze into His eyes looking for a ray of hope. I pray with tears streaming down knowing He's hearing but wishing He would physically wipe them away. I read beautiful stories about Him and about His saints. I feel encouraged by their words and instruction.
But still even a good piece of steak can have some tough parts, some disgusting fat that you accidently bite, but are tooembarrassedd to spit back out onto your plate. So you smile and chew and chew and chew till you can discretely push the mess out of your mouth into your napkin without anyone noticing. So here I sit. I've been chewing for two weeks now and my jaws hurt so here you have it. A big fat piece of chewed up fatty grizzle that I'm spitting out right in front of you.
I am sad. I don't know why, but I am just sad. I am afraid, of what? I haven't a clue. My chest hurts and I'm told to stop eating before bed it's heartburn. I don't wanna. I like eating in bed late at night. It's not heartburn it's stress! I'm told to put the kids in public school, it's too hard on me. Nope, not even worth a discussion there. I'm tired, I'm fatigued, I'm pooped, but the dishes still have to get done and the livingroom picked up. The sun isn't out very much anymore and it's cold out. I've brought my lawn lounge inside though and placed it right in front of our big front windows. Herman is embarrassed. I lay on it with my big fleece blanket facing out. I imagine I'm on a beach and it's just overcast. Who am I kidding, it doesn't really work. I have to remember that this season has to come. It can't be Spring without Winter or Fall. This is a season of things dying back, going dormant. If I don't shut down for spiritual pruning I'll have worthless growth. So this is my season and it sucks and I just want to scream "BITE ME!"
big sigh
Excuse me now while I place my napkin tactfully back onto my lap and continue my meal with grace. Forgive my rude behavior.

"............. The important thing to remember is that God allows all things to help us work out our salvation. He is not the author of evil, but allows us to endure trials to help us struggle a little. This has different results for each person since everyone deals with different passions. But the God who made you and fashioned you in your mother's womb knew you would come to this point. God is with us! You struggle through the tough times, Gods grace comes to comfort and fortify you and then another struggle comes. That is that way and how it has been for over 2,000 years. That is why the Orthodox Church is called the hospital for the soul."

Just a snack

Ok, so it's about midnight when I finally decide to try and fall asleep last night. Herman had been snoozing for about 2 hours and was snoring now. If you have ever shared a room, cell, or even city with him you know how loud his snoring can be. In the past I have pushed his head sideways to distrupt his snoring but he tends to not like that. So now I whisper, "Honey, turn over, turn over.....on your side......turn over!" He wakes enough to say "oh, ok, now what do you want me to do over here?" I cracked up and said, "Uhhh, make me a sandwich?" He remembers waking and me telling him to roll over but he doesn't remember the rest of our "conversation". Sometimes it's worth it just to lie awake in hopes of him sleep talking. Better that then sleepwalking.

Traditions

It is that time of year again, when families and friends follow yearly traditions. Having recently attended a "home party" for making family traditions I was brought to the realization that we really don't have any. When asked what we do for traditions, all I could say was, "Uhhh, eat turkey on TG, celebrate Easter when the rest of the world doesn't (Pascha) and fast on Christmas (old calendar)" Pretty uneventful. Well I became this consultants best customer-I started stocking up on tradition planning paraphenalia. My kids 7 and 9 are craving family tradition and family time. One thing we have now is called the "family fun box". In it are small slips of paper that the whole family has contributed. The idea is to take an idea from the box and do that activity as a family. Now mind you everyone has written their ideas on these papers so they range from, playing baseball at a local park to taking a death march (long walk) with Mommy. From having a picnic on a Wednesday to taking a family nap (Hermans idea). We haven't yet pulled a paper though, I'm kind of scared. I really don't want to have to play "spies building forts in the bushes" or freezing my patutty off pretending to enjoy a picnic in the middle of a rain storm. I may try to put in a "read a good book in your own room for 3 hours" slip, but I think Tansy (9) will catch on to that one. Another cool thing I have though is called "lessons for little ones" Becket asked if he was one of the little ones. These are monthly ideas that come with a little recipe, craft project, idea and frame. So for TG this year we may start a new tradition- a real one. As people show up to your house you give them a slip of paper to write one thing they are thankful for on. Then you take those slips and bake them into rolled up crescent rolls ( haven't checked the catch on fire aspect yet) then at dinner each person takes a roll and reads what was written, then they try and figure out who wrote it. Another idea is to have a small card set at each place with a pen. Each person write a short thank you note to someone. These are put in stamped envelopes and taken to the mailbox as a family. You take a picture of everyone holding their cards to be sent and put it in the frame. Kind of cute, ok hokey for Herman and me to do but the kids will eat it up. We are anticipating inviting a neighbor who we don't know this year. Not sure how he'll feel about these "traditions" but maybe it will become a tradition to have him back each year. I guess it doesn't have to take a whole lot of planning, sometimes the tradition may just walk through your front door.

Alternative to Harry Potter

When Harry Potter first came out I really tried to join the bandwagon. My sister bought me the first in the series and I looked forward to reading it. I expected some good wholesome literary fun. I was very disappointed. I got through 3 quarters of the book and finally had to put it down for good. From a purely literary stance I really thought the writing was weak, slow and unimpressive. It seemed this character stayed in one scene for chapters and chapters. I really tried, I did. And the one thing that was drawing me to it was the occult side, the "harmless" dark side. As a kid I loved everything about witches and magic. I wanted to make spells and potions. As I got older I still had the interest and dabbled, lightly, in white magic. So I really thought the Harry Potter series would appeal to me. I have other reasons now for not liking the Harry Potter movement. I'm told her writing has improved but I'm not willing to test those waters again. I now have 3 children and see in my middle boy an interest in anything action packed, violent, and dark. He writes stories that always has someone loosing their life. He also has a secret longing to experience the Harry Potter scene. But I can't, as a parent, introduce him to this potentially engaging aspect of the spiritual realm. I had to ask myself what else about Harry Potter bothered me. It is the fact that little boys and girls everywhere can now pretend to be wizards, warlocks and witches. They can playfully cast spells on each other and unlock a door to an unknown world. A world that seems harmless but can lead to path filled with confusion. I think the reason it's such a hit is that it is something tangible for people to grab onto. They want to instantly stop their pain or instantly bring forth goodness and riches. I thought casting spells would bring me the boy of my dreams, and I thought that using potions would protect me from evil and bad things. I may have been only playing but deep inside there was that hope that it would really work. I think all kids start out playing innocently enough then something inside of them starts to wish it was real for them. I'm not against good versus evil at all, I'm against using the occult for amusing my children.
I have, however found an alternative to the magical world for my children to ponder. I recently read Inkheart by Cornelia Funke. I originally got this book for my daughter to read while on vacation and recently picked it up myself and wasn't able to put it down till I finished it. My daughters book mark quickly was catching up with mine as she saw me getting excited as I read. The book ended up having a third book mark-my 7 year old boys who is just starting to read. I found the writing to not be insulting to the reader. It was thoughtful and stretched ones vocabulary. It wasn't predictable and left you almost skipping lines to get to the next page. I don't like fantasy but this was a world that was almost believable and that made it fun.
Here is a summary:
A father has the power to pull characters out of books when he reads aloud. He doesn't try to, it just happens. He was reading a book called Inkheart and ended up reading out a whole slew of bad characters that don't want to go back to their own world. So they make a world for themselves here. The fathers daughter ends up having the gift as well, and she is captured by the leader to read aloud to bring out a very nasty character to do some dirty work. Her mother had accidently been read back into the book 9 years earlier and became a prisoner of the leader. The author of the book is sought out to change the characteristics of the bad one that is being read out and in the end the village comes alive with trolls, fairies and little glass men. It's a great ending. It has snippets at the beginning of each chapter of other works of fiction. You'll meet Peter Pan and Tom Sawyer and others.
The only "magic" a child is going to emulate from this book is reading aloud and that's imaginative play I like to encourage. The book is about 500 pages long and it's the first of a trilogy. So basically this book has good guys, bad guys, street performers, fairies, trolls, suspense, tragedy and tastefully done literary magic.

These are a few of my favorite things

I love steak! A really good steak with lots of flavor. Cooked medium well, yes I know this cooks out some of the flavor but that's the way I like it. I love it with all kinds of toppings, mushrooms and bacon, butter, herbs etc. I love it marinated and cooked on the grill. Makes my mouth water just thinking about it.
I love pizza! Pepperoni for me! Deep dish with just the right amount of sauce. A sprinkle of sugar in the dough and tomatoes chopped up on the sauce. Only mozzarella cheese no mixture for me please.
These are two of my favorite things.
This blog reflects both styles of my favorites. Sometimes I may have some meaty stuff for you to read, and sometimes I may just have some good old fashioned junk food. That is what makes up life. A little of the serious with a lot of junk, or a little junk with a big cup of serious folded in. It is what makes up me! One might come to my house expecting a "steak dinner" and we end up filling the night with "pizza". Or one may only want a snack and I start thawing the "steak." You never know what to expect in life or going to someone's house for dinner or reading my blog. So stop by often when you are hungry, you may find something to whet your appetite.