It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!

My 2 anniversary of my 40th birthday is coming up. I approach this day with such mixed feelings. As a child I loved having a summer birthday. To me it was a national holiday and EVERYONE should have the day off. I didn't work on my birthday, I got to eat what I wanted and the presents kept coming. This has been a hard adjustment for me as an adult. I still think the world should come to a halt on my birthday. I still want to choose whatever I want to eat. I want cake and ice cream without me having to plan it or make it, and I want the perfect present. You know, the one that makes you look at it with wonder and awe and it's such a treasure you just want to hold it and hold it. I want to be happy all day and I want the day never to end. I don't want to have to make meals for anyone else, I don't want to have to do my chores or anyone else's chores. I don't want to hear fighting or whining. I was spoiled as a kid when it came to holidays and birthdays so they are tall orders to live up to now. Last year was the best birthday I have ever had. A couple of my dear friends threw a surprise pool party for me at a local pool/water park and I had nothing to do except change into the swim suit my dear hubby snuck in for me and slide down the slides screaming like a 12 year old.
I don't think there will be that much hoopla this year though. I'm anticipating going yard sailing with my mom and I told my dad that a great birthday present from him would be watching my 2 year old while I went. I'm heading to Applebees for steak in the middle of the day and will partake of my booty after Vespers. Poor Herman though, every birthday is met with, "you'd better give me some money so I can take the kids shopping for your birthday, how much do you want me to spend?" and "don't forget I need some money to shop for you" then I reply, "I don't want junk, so don't waste money on just stuff" and "How come I have to tell you how much to spend for my birthday, why don't I just take the money myself and go shopping" and "now, think about who I am when you are shopping....." Poor guy, how is he ever supposed to live up to my expectations. I know what I want but I want to be surprised and open presents, but I want the presents to be exactly what I was hoping for etc. And the poor kids, do I really need another 2 foot tall vase? or a pen that runs out of ink in a day? My birthday brings out the most selfish ugliest passions in me and I end up being so disappointed, in both my presents and myself. It's not the presents exactly but the end of the festivities. The end of my birthday, the end of me being excited for something, the end of looking forward to the day. Once again the end of my too high of expectations not being met. Talk about getting to know oneself....my birthday is the perfect time to see myself and reflect on my sinfulness. So by Saturday night when I go to bed, I'll have a heavy feeling over me, I'll be sad and melancholy. By Saturday night I will have realized I STILL didn't get the gift I have been wanting my whole adult life and will be left with store bought trinkets that can't measure up to my one desire. Well this year I'm just going to just let it out what I want so there won't be anymore guessing, trying to find the perfect gift, wondering how much money to spend.

The one desire for my birthday, every birthday...

is to be 4 years old again telling everyone today is my birthday and I'm now 5!

Quit Doggin' Me!

So how has life changed for me since I've gotten a dog???? Let's start with the mornings, if I make any type of movement in bed a nose raises and eyes are staring right at me. If I get up out of bed for any reason, then it must be time to officially get up. If he happens to catch me looking at him, that's an invitation to come poke me repeatedly with a wet nose. Well, the sun is up and I'm sort of awake...ok ok time to get up. I let him out while I head to the garage to get his food. He follows me in and proceeds to eat his breakfast at which time I quickly scoop up the cat to feed him out of the dogs sight. Time for coffee, as I try to sip my cup a wet nose again comes to investigate what the beverage of choice might be. I have to use my feet to push him away so I can sip safely. Oh, time to go out again and run an invisible race course.
Getting dressed presents another time of being nosed in places where noses shouldn't be. By the time I am dressed my legs are spotted with wet nose prints. Time to get Andrew up, the dog always seems to want to inspect Andrews diaper to see if it needs changing-which indeed it does every morning. So, again while pushing a dog away I'm strategically changing a diaper.
Breakfast for the kids brings all sorts of complaints, he's too close to my plate, he stole my piece of toast, he's staring at me.... I'm determined to teach him to lay down while we eat. Prayers are done with him laying where ever the most inconvenient spot may be, usually right as my feet as I bend to do a prostration. I finally have some peace while Andrew naps and the dog naps. I think every mom has experienced not being able to use the bathroom without company watching. Now I have two two-year olds in there with me, and EACH one is just as interested in what I am doing as the other. Sheesh!
The rest of the day is spent holding him back while kids go in and out and in and out of the doors. I finally put a lock up high today on the back screen door. Now I can monitor who is going out and in, meaning a two year old letting a canine two year old in and out and in and out.
Bathing the dog was an event as well. Herman hoisted this 80 pound dog into the bathtub for me and I proceeded to bathe a dog that would rather be ANYWHERE but in that tub. I think Andrew would have joined him if I let him.
The rest of the day goes on and evening starts to come. It's a routine of feeding the dog, giving snacks to the kids, requesting jammies be put on, letting the dog out, monitoring teeth brushing, letting the dog in, finding pacifiers and blankets, letting the dog out, getting last min. drinks of water, letting the dog in. Everyone is in bed finally and I'm ready to head there myself. I shower and hop into bed and tell Asher to go to his bed. He heads to his bed curls up and falls fast asleep. I wake several times during the night hearing him stir-afraid he'll be using a couch leg to relieve himself only to find he has crawled up on Beckets bed acting as if he's been there all night sleeping. I pull him down, continue to pull him down, keep pulling him down and finally get his front paws on the floor with his rump firmly planted still on the bed. With one final pull I bring him back to bed and tell him to go to bed. He finally does and so do I-again.

The Dog Days of Summer

The "dog days of summer" has always meant the hot lazy days of August. Well for our clan, it means that we now have a dog and it's Summer. Our new dog, Asher, came to us on the 4th of July. Actually I met him on the 4th but he came to live with us on the 6th. Now, I have not wanted a dog for the 18+ years I have been married, but as Herman said last night, "You haven't wanted a dog all these years, but you wanted Asher" I liked that sentiment. Asher, which means "the laughing one", is a young great dane/coon hound mix. He has fit into our family beautifully. The first night he slept through the night on HIS bed, not ours. He seems to have had a tiny bit of training, or at least is well mannered. And the best part is, he is pooping in one spot and Tansy is volunteering to continually clean up after him. After a childhood of living with Multiple dogs and being the sibling assigned to pooper scooper duty-it is quite refreshing to enjoy the front end of a dog for a change. Daily we are learning his personality as we have no history on him what so ever. Turns out he is protective....Tansy was being chased by "Pirate" Becket this morning and Asher came to her rescue. He tugged at Beckets pirate duds and hung on as if to keep him away from Tansy. I finally had to bring him inside so they could play out the pirate scene without heckling from the "audience". I'm using the training philosophy adopted by the Monks of New Skete. http://www.newsketemonks.com/dogs.htm
I've enjoyed reading their books and watching their video. They integrate the dogs into their lives without making them into pseudo humans. Since I'm doing the training, I am the one becoming the Alpha dog in my "pack". It's kind of fun and I'm planning on trying this alpha wolf idea on the kids, maybe they'll lay down on their backs in submission too. "I said, clean your rooms....grrrrr" I'm sure Herman will rap me on the nose with a newspaper if I get out of hand. I was raised with dogs, cats, birds, mice, hamsters, ducks etc. So I've been anti-pets as an adult. I have dreaded the opening of gifts the kids receive knowing there will be a frog pond in one, or a fish tank in another. Herman and I had a chicken in our basement for 5 years as a pet, and I had two desert tortoises I raised from hatchlings for several years as well. I've had my share of dealing with pets and their messes. The chicken now lives on a farm and the tortoises reside with a local vet. Our cat, Moses, is aloof and we do have one mutant tadpole that refuses to turn into a frog. I guess it's no wonder I've never really bonded with any of these pets. You can't hug a turtle or play fetch with a chicken. And a tadpole, well do I really need to address him? Asher is a whole different experience for me. He doesn't bite me when I pet him or swipe me with his claws as I walk by. He doesn't smell like dirty pond water or stick his head into his shell each time I walk by. He acts like....well.....a dog. He seems to like me, and appreciates a treat or two. He likes to sit and just be silent and with 3 children, silence is a welcomed change. He makes me laugh and I just like having him around. Well now it is time to head outside to do some more leash training. Stay tuned for further adventures with Asher.